CLEVELAND—Attempting to draw in passersby with that rarest leaf from faraway lands, a new dispensary opened in the area Thursday, promising customers a tantalizing taste of the forbidden fruit that is marijuana. “O, could it be? A merchant whose wares are that seductive and most taboo of herbs?” said local man Jason Kitlinger, noting that the dispensary’s offer seemed too alluring to escape, a siren song beckoning him to partake in the wicked delights of cannabis. “Why, yes—it is none other than that bittersweet flower which they say alters both mind and soul! Have I the strength to shun the bewitching yet verboten pleasures of the vaporizing pen? Alas, I do not. Tonight we dine on the finest THC gummies!” At press time, sources confirmed Kitlinger was high as fuck.
Women Explain How They’d Like To Have Their Bodies Restricted NextOffEnglish